Adam Berry from TV’s Kindred Spirits to discuss what happens after we die, how hard it is to communicating to and from the other side and many other questions about our ultimate destination.
It was a great conversation and Adam kept me captivated from beginning to end.
You can find his brand new book, Goodbye Hello: Processing Grief and Understanding Death Through the Paranormal, at Amazon: https://amzn.to/3LCK30s
Thanks Adam!
This post contains Amazon affiliate links that benefit Jim Harold Media when you make a qualifying purchase. Thank you for your support!
-TRANSCRIPT-
Jim:
Adam Berry from Kindred Spirits joins us to talk about his new hit book Goodbye, Hello: Processing Grief and Understanding Death Through the Paranormal on the Paranormal Podcast.
Announcer:
This is the Paranormal Podcast with Jim Harold.
Jim:
Welcome to the Paranormal Podcast. I am Jim Harold and so glad to be with you today. And it’s a red letter day because we have a paranormal VIP on. We’re talking about Adam Berry. Now you very likely know him from his popular TV series, Kindred Spirits and his many other television appearances, but that’s only part of the picture. He’s a paranormal researcher, an investigator, an educator, a speaker, and an author. And his new book is Goodbye, Hello: Processing Grief and Understanding Death Through the Paranormal . Adam, welcome to the show. Good to speak with you again.
Adam Berry:
Thank you for having me. I’m glad to be here.
Jim:
So let me ask you, I mean, it kind of is a little bit self apparent from the title, but tell us the concept of Goodbye, Hello, and why you decided to write it.
Adam Berry:
Yeah, so Goodbye, Hello: Processing Grief and Understanding Death Through the Paranormal. It’s not only the longest title of any book I have ever seen in my life, but it really tells you exactly what the book is. I wanted to write about my experiences with the paranormal, but I’ve reached a point in my life where I feel like what we’ve learned can help a lot of other people. And so the idea of the book is yes, there is scary stories. Yes, there are intriguing anecdotes about investigating and paranormal investigation, but I really wanted to focus more on the actuality of the end of our life, what actually happens and what we know from investigating ghosts, like what do ghosts tell us about the afterlife? And if any of those things that we have discovered can help us better understand our own mortality and the end of life scenario.
Jim:
Yeah, I’ve often said on the shows that this truly is the universal subject because if we’re talking about the wide array of potentially supernatural things like UFOs, ghosts, bigfoot, all these different things have fallen into this big kind of anomalous tent. Not everybody’s going to see a bigfoot, not everybody’s going to see ufo. Even people never perceive seeing a ghost, but we’re all going to pass and someone near us, a loved one, is going to pass. It’s universal. It’s not a question of if, it’s a question of when. So really, truly is a subject that relates to everyone.
Adam Berry:
Yeah, I mean, I think what’s interesting is I’m finding that as people are reading the book, a lot of people say, well, I connect to a lot of this book. And I think that is because the universal truth is that we all end up in the same way no matter what we believe, no matter who we are as a person, no matter, no matter our differences. I think there are a lot of people out there who have lost loved ones or who are dealing with some part of grief that hasn’t been able to be fully processed, and you kind of get stuck. And I think this book can give those people a different idea to help them continue their journey. It’s not a book to tell people how to grieve because that’s not, I mean, you can’t do that. Everybody has their own way of grieving.
But I wanted to give different ideas about what death could be from the perspective of those that have already died to see if it can unlock anything. Because I personally, after my grandmother passed away, I was stuck a little bit, in like I should have been there, I should have said more. I should have done more. But I think weirdly enough, investigating the paranormal has let me know that it isn’t the end, right? There is something else, whether we believe it’s heaven or whether we believe it’s reincarnation or whether we believe you continue onto the next journey, something else happens. And so it gave me hope in knowing that maybe I’ll see my grandmother again. But all of that information was gathered from the horse’s mouth, from the spirits themselves. And I think the book was a journey for myself too. I mean, I learned a lot from it as well.
Jim:
So we usually think of death as an ending, but you talk in the book about death as a beginning. What did you mean by that?
Adam Berry:
Yeah, so a lot of people when they talk about the afterlife, they talk about going to another place. And in my opinion, I think this life is the step to something else. There is a journey that we are on in this life, and I believe that after we pass, there is some sort of journey that occurs afterwards. There are different ideas of what that is. Some people say, I’m going to be in heaven and I’m going to be there with all of my family members, and I will live eternally in the kingdom of God. But then there are a lot of other people in different religions that say, I’m going to go on a spiritual quest or journey to something else, and eventually I will evolve as such to where I come back onto this earth. And so that’s what I mean about it being a beginning. And frankly, it’s a nice way to think about the uncertainty of what is, like what if, the uncertainty of it all. It can be very scary when people think about ghosts and dying. And if you hold onto the idea that this is a beginning of something else, it’s not goodbye. It’s hello. Imagine, I don’t want to use the title, but I did imagine it. But if you think of it as you’re going onto something else, rather than it being a finite end, it can give you hope in what’s to come.
Jim:
So let me ask you this. I mean, so many people, I would venture to say it’s a fair statement, and maybe I’m wrong, but the majority of people are afraid to die. I will raise my hand and say, I’m afraid to die. Not only is there the physical pain of it, assuming you just don’t silently slip off in the middle of the night and leaving your loved ones behind, but just the idea of the unknown. I mean, even those I think who have great religious faith or very strong faith that there is something beyond whatever they believe it to be. I think even they, at times, naturally you’re human. You have doubts. Should we be afraid of dying?
Adam Berry:
I think that’s up to each person to answer for themselves. And I would say when I think about the end, I am like you. I am afraid, right? But you’ve got to ask yourself, what are you afraid of, right? There’s a line in, I can’t believe I’m bringing up Steven Sondheim musical, but there’s a line in Steven Sondheim musical Into the Woods, and the baker’s wife dies, and the witch says, when you’re dead, you’re dead. And she makes a good point. You are, you’re dead. So you can’t control it, right? You’re gone. So the sadness for me, and the scary part of it for me is everyone that I’m leaving behind, it’s the fear of missing out, literally the fear of missing out. The fact is, I just turned 40, right? It’s a time when you think about getting to midlife, whatever that is, and you think about, oh, I have only 40 years left, or what if I don’t even have that? What if I only have 20 years left, or whatever it is that you don’t know.
And for me, it’s the fear of missing out on the future and the fear of leaving behind people that I love so much. However, for me personally, when you’re gone, you’re gone. You’ve gone on to the next thing. And what I’ve learned from the book and from the stories, those that have come back and have spoken about dying and being in a different place, they have no concerns of their own wellbeing, if that makes sense. They’re already in that place. They’re already on that next journey. I’m not talking about ghosts who haunt a house. I’m talking about those that come back in dreams or those that visit family members or that talk to psychics. It’s almost like I’m okay. I’m onto the next thing, but I’m here to help you through it. I’m here to help you process my death. And so that’s the fear for me. And I think that is where a lot of people’s fears come from. It’s the uncertainty, obviously, but it’s just the sadness of not being able to experience what you want and what could have been, I guess.
Jim:
Yeah. And missing out on the iPhone 67.
Adam Berry:
I know, my God, those pictures are going to be the exact same as the one today,
Jim:
But it’s the best iPhone ever. So the dead, in terms of the people that you’re talking about, not necessarily the ghost, what kind of things do they share from you on the other side about what it’s like?
Adam Berry:
The big thing that comes up for us, especially with Amy and I on Kindred Spirits and the way that we sort of approached paranormal investigation, we no longer just say whether or not a place is haunted. We try to find out who is there, why they’re there, and we try to help them. So most of the things that we get from the spirits that we talk to are a want or need of something. There’s an unfinished business. I know it sounds cliche, but that happens a lot. And I think it boils down to human communication, compassion, understanding, conversation. It’s all of these traits that we want as human beings in this life, yet they and I get it, or it’s very hard for them to achieve it. And so for me, it’s pretty eye opening. It’s like, oh, we say it all the time. Ghosts are people too, right?
And that’s true. But if they have passed away and are still on this earth, on this plane and they have the same sensibilities, yet it’s harder for them to achieve those things. It just makes them more human. It humanizes who you’re talking to. So in a way that’s very sad. I mean, I think John Tenney says it best. He says, I don’t know if I want to be a ghost. He’s in the book. He’s like, I don’t know if I want to be a ghost, because this world is made for the living. There’s touch, taste, feel, love. We can communicate. I can eat food, I can drink. And he was like, but ghosts cannot do any of those things, and it’s very hard for them to achieve those things. So he was like, I don’t want that. It seems very sad. And so as paranormal investigators, our job is to ease that burden to try to figure out what it is they need or want, to try to give that to them if we can, because they cannot get it on their own. And hopefully in doing that, they achieve whatever goal they had and they can move on to whatever place they need to be. The place that we go after.
Jim:
You’re kind of touching on something here or approaching it, and I want to talk to you about, because in the 18 years I’ve been doing these shows, God, I’m old.
Adam Berry:
You look great. I’m looking at you right now.
Jim:
Thank you. Thank you. It’s all smoke and mirrors. But the point is, is that the one thing that bothers me, not hauntings or even demons or those kinds of things, not that I’m a big fan of demons, but the thing that really kind of freaks me out is this idea of stuck spirits. There are stuck spirits and we have to guide them to the light. And many times what I’ve heard some say, these are people who have died tragically in the sense it was unexpected. It’s in an accident perhaps unfortunately, suicide. Anytime we mention that, we mention the 988 hotline, 9, 8, 8. If you feel you need help or someone needs help, 9, 8, 8, please use that. We want to keep you around. But the point is, people who die without expecting it, those kinds of things, they’re stuck. And that bothers me more than anything because I like to think on one level, some level, ultimately we live in a just universe and that things work out. If you’re a good person, things work out for you. So is that something I need to be worried about, this idea of stuck spirits?
Adam Berry:
I think, well, it’s a tricky question because what if you worrying about it can cause that idea of you being stuck? What if you plant that seed into your brain and you’re like, that’s my biggest fear, that’s my most terrifying.
Jim:
Don’t do that, Jim, don’t do that!
Adam Berry:
Yeah, yeah. And you always think about, and you always think about it, and then you pass away and it could not even be sudden. You could live to 160 or whatever, and I’m giving you a good year, you could live to 160, and then you pass on and then all of a sudden you’re like, wait a minute, I’m stuck. Oh god. It’s the one thing that I kept talking about over and over and over again, and I’m stuck. So I mean, that’s the first thing. It’s like what?
Jim:
And by the way, let me just say I was more worried about it for other people. I wasn’t even thinking about it for myself. So thanks.
Adam Berry:
You’re welcome. I’m going to plant that seed. Well, the thing is, we encounter, first off, don’t think that way. I mean, here’s the thing. I don’t know if we can control that kind of situation. We’ve experienced many ghosts who don’t know they’re dead. The, not the Proctor house, the Crocker Tavern house, we investigated Wilhelmina Crocker. She didn’t know that she had passed away and she was still playing out this scenario. We have other spirits who would like to move on, yet they can’t. And we’ve seen where family members are grieving so hard that they’re sort of still stuck in this environment. And in a way, it’s up to them to help their family members to process their own death, and then they will be released and can go to the next journey. And I think that’s, but on the other end of that, I think that is why we choose to investigate ghosts and why we look for ghosts and try to figure out what they need or want.
I don’t know why some of them get stuck. Maybe it’s sudden death and they don’t know that they passed away, or maybe they have taken their own lives. And to me it is very sad. But if you approach it as a paranormal investigator in the sense that you are going to help them, then maybe there is something you can do for them. Maybe they ask for something, maybe they deliver a message. Maybe you bring up one of their loves that have passed away as well, and you talk about that and they sort of perk up. I mean, that’s why we investigate. It’s no longer looking for ghosts just for an experience. It is, why are you here? And what can we do to kind of ease your burden, if you will, if you need it?
Jim:
It seems to me that, and this is not original thought that we really, in the west, much of the West put death in a box, particularly in the United States if you look like now it is the West. But I think they have a much more healthy way of looking at the Latino culture and Mexican culture and the Day of the Dead and those kinds of things, embracing the dead and kind of making it a part of their life. But on the other hand, we up north tend to put it in a box. You could go, I think I saw my first body of someone who had died that was not in a funeral home when I was in my late forties, and I’m in my early fifties now. I don’t want anybody to think I’m 70. But anyway, the point being, the point being that you can go decades without seeing a dead body because it’s also sanitized and people are brought out and they’re put in the funeral home where you see them. This is the place where you’re allowed to see death. Why do you think that is? And do you think that’s particularly healthy?
Adam Berry:
I think that creates, it creates a buffer. It eases, I guess it eases you into the situation. I mean, when I was a kid, I talk about it in the book, but my grandfather passed away and I was like four years old, and I distinctly remember a discussion. I grew up in the south. I grew up in Alabama. And so in the south there’s always the visitation day where you go and see them laid out. It’s the wake as it were, and you talk, and then there’s the funeral the next day, and then there’s going to the grave. And so it’s a big to-do. And there’s always food. I mean, why not? And I just remember distinctly, not an argument, but a strong conversation between my father and my mother about whether or not I was going to get to see my grandfather. And it was decided that yes, I was, and I was picked up by my dad, and I remember being carried.
I see it right now. I remember being carried over to where his coffin was and there he was. And I distinctly remember seeing my family around me, all these people wondering what I’m going to do, what is it? But I think in a way, for me, if they had done the opposite, if they had said, no, let’s not do that, and they had taken me away, I would’ve thought that what is in that room is way worse than it actually is. I could see the tension between them. Maybe it was, and again, I don’t think it was bad tension, but it was an argument and I could see it and I could feel it. And if it had gone the other way where they’d just taken me out of the room, I might’ve even thought maybe I did something wrong. Or maybe there’s something in that room that I shouldn’t be seeing.
And it would’ve made my view of death specifically, especially with the loved one, very different. And so I think we all have different ways of grieving and mourning. And these days, I know you’ve seen those videos of people that have passed away and they’re sort of propped up in a chair. Have you seen those videos where they’re propped up in a chair and the family comes by and takes pictures? That to me is way more interesting. I mean, yes, to me it’s bizarre because I’ve never experienced it. But if that is what they want to do to honor their loved one, why not? And I think as a society, we, we try to take the ugliness out of death because it is ugly and it is sad. And if you see your loved one there and you’re like, oh, she looks great, or they look, it’s what you always say. And I think in a way it’s needed so that we can be okay with that death, right? Oh, she looks great. There’s little things that you see and experience and you’re with people and you’re grieving together as a unit rather than being alone. But yeah, it’s definitely different than a lot of other cultures and way different than a hundred years ago. I mean, when you think about it.
Jim:
Well, sitting up with the dead, right? You were talking about the south. They used to be in the home,
Adam Berry:
Right. They used to be in the home, and I think they would sit up to make sure that they, wasn’t it, so they wouldn’t come back to life. It’d basically come back to life, but it’s rigor mortis so they’ll sit up and they’d have to put them back down. Yeah, I don’t think they go as, I don’t think they went as far as doing that, but that is a thing. Or waking people in the home. People did that all over the world, but it was a thing. They were waked in the parlor of the home and people came to the home, everything was done in the home, and you went from the home to the cemetery, and now there, there’s a middleman because I don’t know how many people out there would be willing to go through that process on their own.
Jim:
And I will say this, I’ve said this before in the show. I believe funeral workers deserve a lot of credit. We think of things like PTSD for people who are in the military, first responders, medical people. I never hear that brought up with funeral workers and while after a while, it does have to kind of set in. You have a doctor, patient, arm’s length. These people are human and it’s got to be tough for them, particularly when you see young people and kids and things that you’ve got to deal with. I mean, it’s probably quite a different experience if you have somebody who’s 98 years old and you have to take care of them, that’s one experience. Another one’s when you’ve got a five-year-old child, God forbid.
Adam Berry:
Yeah, I think there’s a, yeah, I agree. A numbness. Maybe it’s a work attitude. I know a couple of people who are funeral, they work in a funeral homes and they seem to be okay with it, right? It’s that one thing where it’s like, this is a service that I’m doing for a family and I take pride in my work and what I do because it means so much to the family in a sense, and I will do this, but I do think there is sort of this numbness, even with paranormal investigating. It’s like Amy and I had,1 when we started doing Kindred Spirits, it’s like every single case came up was like a dead child. A child had passed away tragically or something. And it’s hard for us. You’re always talking about death and you’re always being surrounded by death. And it’s like, well, people are like, well, how do you cope with that? What do you do? And truthfully, we sort of keep our head down and we do what we need to do and we process it later. It’s almost like we try not to process it in the moment, but sometimes it gets the better of us.
Jim:
Well, we’re having a great talk with Adam Berry and we are talking all about his new book Goodbye, Hello: Processing Grief and Understanding Death Through the Paranormal , and we’ll be back right after this. The Paranormal Podcast is brought to you by Grammarly, and when it comes to writing, Grammarly is there to support you from beginning to end and for over 10 years, Grammarly has been powered by AI technology you can trust and rely upon to help you across all the places where you write the most. I’ve been using Grammarly for years, and it is a no negotiation that it is part of my toolbox and continues to be. I use it, for example, every single week I do my newsletter to make sure that I’m coming across with the right tone, not making any grammar mistakes, maybe looking at some of the recommendations Grammarly gives me to make my writing more confident or more succinct, whatever it is, it is great, and I love Grammarly, and using Grammarly is not saying, Hey, I want you to do my work for me, or I’m a bad writer.
No, no, no, I think I’m actually a pretty good writer. But Grammarly can add that polish. You simply select the text that you want to rewrite and give Grammarly a prompt. You can improve it, you can shorten it, you can make it more confident. You can make it more direct. You can soften it, whatever it is, Grammarly does it. Grammarly is awesome. So let’s say you need to draft an important email and you don’t know where to start. Grammarly has suggestions to jumpstart your writing. Maybe you’re applying to new jobs. You can apply to your dream job with confidence by tailoring your cover letter and revising your resume in seconds. And the best part of it all, well, it’s free to use. You’ll be amazed at what you can do with Grammarly. Go to grammarly.com/go to download for free today. That’s G R A M M A R L Y.com/go. And we thank Grammarly for their support of the Paranormal Podcast.
Announcer:
Follow Jim on Twitter and Instagram @theJimHarold and join our virtual Campfire Facebook group at virtualcampfiregroup.com. Now back to the Paranormal Podcast.
Jim:
We’re back on the Paranormal Podcast. Our guest today is Adam Berry. The book is Goodbye, Hello: Processing Grief and Understanding Death Through the Paranormal. Adam, it seems to me that it’s got to be really hard. How hard is it for our loved ones to communicate with us from the other side?
Adam Berry:
It has a range. I think it depends on the individual spirit, but from my perspective, I think that it is very difficult. We don’t know what it takes to communicate, we don’t know how. I mean, we know how they communicate in a way. They try to speak to us, they knock on things, they get our attention, they show themselves, but I don’t know how hard it is for them to do those kinds of things. So when it happens, it should be very special. It should be like, oh my God, this thing has just happened. It’s monumental, especially if it’s a true paranormal experience, you’re like, wow, that was really crazy. You should feel lucky that it’s occurring because we don’t know how hard it takes, how long it takes or any of it. But then also think of it like, well, if they are reaching out, there’s got to be a reason for it.
There has to be a reason for it. They’re not just going to do it for the sake of doing it. Nobody knocks on a wall for the sake of knocking on a wall. I mean, unless they’re just trying to scare you, which is cool. I would do that if I were a ghost. I’d be like, I’m just going to try to scare you. But I think it can be very difficult. I think there are ways that they can communicate with you easier. I think dreams, visitations like visitations and dreams by the loved ones, I think that’s easier. In a weird way, I talk about it in the book about dreams being a state that is similar to a state of death. Maybe they can come and visit you in your dreams because they’re just energetically… It just seems to be much easier to do that than to show themselves in your room.
But I think it depends on how strong the need of communication is, how strong the desire of us wanting them to communicate with us. I think it depends on right place, right time factor. Like what if you’re sitting here trying to reach out to a loved one and you do it every single day and you’re trying to do the same thing every single day, and then you get it right, all of a sudden it triggers you knock on that wall. You finally knock on that wall and nobody’s there to hear it. It’s like, oh, now I got to start over again. So I think it can be very difficult for those who have passed away to reach out, and I think it’s important for us to recognize the signs when they do so that their efforts aren’t in vain.
Jim:
I’m sure it varies by case, by case, but what do you find the most effective medium, no pun intended, for reaching out to the dead, the most effective way?
Adam Berry:
It does vary. I think simple conversation and understanding. I think intelligent conversation is a good way to get reaction, not just like how old are you? Do you know you’re dead? Are you male or female? Those are fine to I guess get to know who the spirit is. But if you are investigating a famous location and you kind of have an idea based on all these investigations about who you’re talking to, I think intelligent conversation, like bringing up things from their past or things that they would know about their surroundings and what they were experiencing in their own life to spark conversation that isn’t mundane, I think is a great way to get communication, to talk. If you think your grandmother’s in your house to talk about that special breakfast that she would make you, or the one memory that you never got a chance to speak with her about, those kind of things seem to trigger activity more so than anything else because I think ghosts, while they don’t mind performing for you, like knocking on a wall or making a meter go off, I think again, it is they’re reaching out and they’re around for a purpose.
And the only way that that purpose is going to be fulfilled is if we move beyond like, oh, knock for us. Oh, touch this meter. It’s okay, well, what do you need? Can I spark conversation? You can trust me. I’m here for you. I feel for you. It’s that kind of thing.
Jim:
Something came up the other day on, I have a show called Jim Harold’s Campfire where people call in with their stories of the supernatural, and somebody called in and somehow the topic came on. You touched on it at the very beginning about your grandma worrying that there were things that were left unsaid. And again, I don’t consider myself a paranormal expert. I’ve talked to a lot of people like you over the years who are mediums, experts, investigators. I’m just like a guy who asks questions, but I said this. I said, well, if you feel that your loved one, there’s something you wanted to say to them while they were here. I say, just say it now because if we believe our loved ones are with us, they will hear it. And if that’s all wrong, it’s going to make you feel better. Anyway, I said again, this is not, it’s like the old thing. I’m not a doctor, I just play one on TV. So it’s the same thing. I don’t claim to be a paranormal expert, but it just seems like common sense to me if we believed our loved ones are with us many times, that they should be able to hear something like that. And oh, by the way, it has a nice side effect of making us feel better. What do you think about that?
Adam Berry:
I totally agree. I mean, especially with Kindred season seven, the theme of saying it now and living the moment each day kept coming up in every single case that we were doing, and it seemed to be the theme of the season without us even knowing that there was a theme. There was the spirit of Nancy who we made contact with, and she said to us, I miss my life before I was in the ground. I miss the birds. She missed watching birds in her bird feeder. It was as simple as that, right? Just that simple. And so the idea of having unfinished business, I think from a ghost’s perspective, I wish I could have done the following things when I was alive, and now I’m forced to try to figure out how to do those now that I’ve passed away and I’m here on this earthly plane and I’ve not crossed over into wherever.
That’s one of the main things that we see. And so the idea is living your life to the fullest saying it now. And if you aren’t going to say it now, being okay with it not ever being said to their face, right? It’s like you need to be okay with if you choose not to tell them or you choose not to say I love you or to talk about it, or to mend that bridge or to do whatever you need to do, you need to be okay with not doing that after they’ve passed away. The chances are pretty high that you’re not going to get a chance to talk to them. However, if you are living with that guilt of not being able to just say, I love you one more time, or not being able to say you’re sorry for something, the easiest thing to do is literally just say it to sit down in a meditative state and think about them and conjure them up in your mind.
Bring them to your thoughts and then have that conversation with them that you always wanted to have. Because what’s to say they aren’t hearing that you could take it a step further. Go to where they’re buried and sit with them and say to them, I’m so sorry. I don’t know if you can hear me right now, but this is the way I feel and this is how I feel about it. Whether or not they can hear you, I think it’ll help you as a living person know that you are making an effort, which is good, but then what if they can hear you? What if they are there and listening to you? And what if you get a sign from them at some point that says, acknowledges that they heard what you said? So it never is. No one should ever feel ashamed or embarrassed to do those kinds of things that they didn’t get to do or say. But again, it is better to just do it now.
Jim:
Sure. I think sometimes I think what can happen if you’re dealing with someone who’s young, you have a loved one who’s young and they pass or something horrible, unexpected. Tragically, you, all of us thought they were going to be around. And the truth is none of us know how we’re going to be around. The truth is we’re all terminal. Just some people have a date put on it. Now that terminal could be 50 years from now, or it could be five minutes from now and none of us. That’s the tough thing. None of us know. And I think that in our own personal lives, we assume on some level that we’re always going to be around, and we assume on some level that those we love will always be around, and neither one of those is correct.
Adam Berry:
Yeah, I mean, what’s interesting is we are a species of animal that is very aware of the end. We’re very aware of it. It’s… um, and we do a really good job of not thinking about it, which I think it is a survival thing for us. And those of you who are listening who have death anxiety right now, girl, I feel you. I have it. I too have can have death anxiety. So the more we talk about this, it brings up these like, woo, going to be anxious about it, right? So you have to learn to breathe through that anxiety and be like, okay, yes, I acknowledge it, but you know what? In order for me to counterbalance that, I am going to do the things that I want to do now rather than wait for ’em, that phone call I need to make. That trip I wanted to plan like, oh, I’ll always, I’ll go to Scotland one day. Like, that’s today. I know you’re probably like, I have to save up to go on trips and we’re not going to go to tomorrow. But if I don’t start planning for that, you keep pushing things away. We keep pushing things away, keep pushing things away. It’s like, you know what? Find ways to try to do those things or start to do those things. And I think that will help. But again, as a species, we’re really good at ignoring and avoiding, and I think in a way it does help us survive that death anxiety. But it can be difficult. It can be difficult, and that’s okay. It’s part of being a human.
Jim:
We’re talking with Adam Berry will be back on the Paranormal Podcast right after this. The Paranormal podcast is brought to you by Parabox. If you love the paranormal puzzles and great t-shirts, then you need to get Parabox. The mind behind Parabox, Jim Hamilton. is with us. What is Parabox exactly?
Jim Hamilton:
Well, Jim Parabox is essentially an apparel company that creates interactive t-shirts. We offer a t-shirt subscription to our paranormal theme shirts, and our tees are a bit different than the normal department store tee. They’re designed to give the recipient not only an awesome soft style t-shirt, but also provide some puzzling entertainment.
Jim:
Me and my family absolutely love these shirts. They’re really great. Explain what you do with the t-shirts, Jim.
Jim Hamilton:
Currently we have two different themes. The first being the paranormal, which your listeners would absolutely love. These shirts feature topics like ghosts and haunted locations, aliens, cryptids, and other strange stories. We have a National Parks line, and we’re currently working on a third series called World Wonders where we explore some of the planet’s most interesting places.
Jim:
Where do you get these great ideas for these shirts?
Jim Hamilton:
Ideas come from obviously listening to you and to other podcasts as well as from back in the eighties when I was a paranormal junkie. As a kid, I was fascinated by Unsolved Mysteries, In Search Of, and That’s Incredible.
Jim:
The t-shirts themselves are really high quality. Tell us about that.
Jim Hamilton:
The tees we print on are extremely soft and comfy, and they’re a cotton poly blend, so they won’t shrink when you wash them. And they’re durable too. Actually, right now I’m wearing one of the tees that we printed back in 2017, and it still looks and feels great.
Jim:
Now, they’re not just great shirts, but there’s also a gamification aspect to it, right?
Jim Hamilton:
Yes, there is. It was designed to be more than just a shirt. Both our paranormal and our national park tees come with a content card. The card further explains the theme, and it has a web address printed on it for you to visit. The web address is secured with a password which can only be found hidden in the design of the shirt. If you can successfully unlock the website, you’ll find our monthly challenge. And if you can correctly solve our challenge, you’ll be entered into a drawing for free Parabox merchandise.
Jim:
So Jim, where can people get Parabox?
Jim Hamilton:
Jim, if your listeners want to head on over to our website, paraboxmonthly.com/jim, they can receive a promo code for 25% off. And that discount code is good for either our paranormal tees or our National Park tees.
Jim:
So now it’s time to get Parabox. Just go to paraboxmonthly.com/jim, that’s parabox monthly.com/jim and get that deal for 25% off a Parabox monthly subscription. I highly recommend it. Thanks, Parabox. No purchase necessary to be entered into their monthly drawing details a paraboxmonthly.com.
Announcer:
If you love the Paranormal Podcast, be sure to check out Jim Harold’s Campfire, where ordinary people share their extraordinary stories of ghosts, UFOs, cryptids, and terrifying encounters. Find it for free wherever you listen to this podcast. Tune into Jim Harold’s Campfire today. Now we return to the Paranormal Podcast
Jim:
And we’re back on the Paranormal Podcast. Our guest is Adam Berry. You talk about in chapter 10, See You in My Dreams. Is the dream space a great place to communicate with your past loved ones?
Adam Berry:
Well, I think so. I mean, I had a dream visitation from my grandmother that was very real, real. It was very visceral. I think those that have had dream experiences will say the same. It’s, you are there in the dream, you are in control. There is. There’s your loved one. You feel them, you touch them, you sense them. You wake up with this feeling of, I just talked to them. And there’s been a lot of books and articles. Even Shakespeare talks about dream death, like what sleep as death and then you dream. In the Bible that talks about how when Jesus comes back, he doesn’t really come back to, he wakes people up. He’s waking them up, right? They’re being awakened. And what is that? So what if sleep is a way to connect to that death world without actually dying? I think when you meditate sometimes you kind of enter into a trance and you’re sort of in this environment you can control, and it seems very dreamlike.
What if that’s the same thing? So I do believe there is some crossover, it’s been talked about for centuries, and I think those that have dream visitations are very lucky. And I talk about it in the book, and I say they’re rare. People say these dreams are rare. And I think they’re only rare because nobody talks about them. I think they’re very personal, they’re very private, and sometimes you don’t want to speak about them to other people. But I think if we were to talk to each other about those kind of dreams specifically, I think we would be surprised at how many people have those dreams, if that makes sense. And then maybe there is some correlation and connection to the afterlife.
Jim:
Now, we certainly don’t want to give away the whole book or anything like that. We want people to get the book Goodbye, Hello. But we love stories here. Is there one story from the book that you feel you could share that might kind of, I don’t know, give people a good flavor of what the book’s about and one of your favorites?
Adam Berry:
I will read from chapter… No.
Jim:
A reading!
Adam Berry:
A reading. I’ll start here. I think what’s interesting and what’s great about this book is there’s something for everyone. So if you believe in ghosts and you believe in the paranormal, this book is for you. If you don’t believe in ghosts and you don’t believe in the paranormal, this book is for you. Because there are stories about human traits and nature that are real. And I think one of the biggest things are near death experiences. We talk about that a lot in the chapter of this book. And I think those kind of experiences are so bizarre to me because they can be very different for each individual. Someone has a near death experience and they see God, or they see friends and family in a place that looks very much like heaven. And then some people have near-death experiences and they are greeted by these beings that are with them, and they’re in a space that doesn’t really look like heaven, but they’re calm and they’re peaceful and they’re being taken somewhere and they’re brought back.
Or some people have near-death experiences and it’s nothing. It’s a void of vast nothing. And I think those stories are so interesting because it’s based on the individual person, I believe at the time that it happens to them. So John Tenney, his happened when he was younger, and again, his was void of nothing. But he’s like the way that I’ve changed now, the way that I view the world now, and I view my friends and family, and that experience is very scary. But I think if it were to happen again, that would be more like my afterlife, because I’m connected to everyone. I’m connected to all of my friends and family, even though I don’t see them. So I think that to me is very fascinating. And the other story that I would point out is my friend Yvette, in the Dream chapter, she’s visited by a friend of hers that passed away suddenly on a number of different times, and he gives her information that she then shares with family, but he’s giving her information that she would never be privy to.
She would never know this information. This information would’ve never gotten to her ever, ever, ever, ever. And he’s telling it to her, and then she is relaying it to those that know about that information. I think that to me is really insane. And what people don’t know is even more insane than that. I changed her friend’s name to protect his family and whatnot. When I recorded the audiobook, which I read the audiobook, which drops today as well, September 26th, where I recorded it is in Boston. And I did not realize that the guy who produced that for me in Boston went to Berkeley. I went to BoCo. We shared the same sort of cafeteria and grounds. And I was telling him about this story that was coming up in the book, and he looks at me and tells, he goes, oh, and then he says, this guy’s real name.
And I was like, yes. He was like, that was my best friend. He was like, that was my best friend. He was supposed to play my wedding two weeks after he died, he died. And two weeks later, I got married and he was supposed to play my wedding. And he was like, he had different groups of friends. And so Yvette knew him. He did not know Yvette. And Yvette told all of her groups of friends about her dreams. And so they had a healing chapter, but he did not know about this, and none of the other friends knew about it. And he goes, we were all so concerned we had the same concerns, but what she’s telling me kind of healed that wound for him and all of his friends. And the bottom line is he would’ve never picked up this book. He was literally hired to record my voice for the audio. He would’ve never picked it up. He would’ve never went to a bookstore to pick it up. He would’ve never heard this story. And all of those friends would’ve never heard the story. But the fact that out of millions of people I could have gone to, it was him and his friend is in the book and there’s closure for him and all of his friends is mind boggling. So that story alone has a bigger ending than it even in the book. But it’s fascinating.
Jim:
Too much of a coincidence to be a coincidence is what I always say.
Adam Berry:
A hundred percent. A hundred percent. The book was written for a purpose. And I think when people read it, they will find their purpose or some sort of purpose out of this material. Well,
Jim:
It’s no coincidence that this is such a great book. It was written by Adam Barry, and it’s called Goodbye, Hello: Processing Grief and Understanding Death Through the Paranormal. I hope everybody checks it out. Adam, where can people find the book? And also, I know you were telling me you’re going to be like everywhere over the next coming months. Where can people find the book and more information about all those different places you’re going to be?
Adam Berry:
People can get the book wherever books are sold. If they want a quick click, they can go to AdamBerrybooks.com. It has all the places you could purchase the book. Look at it at your local bookstore, get your mom and pop to pre-order it, support local books. And you can see me. I’m traveling everywhere. I’m going to Wisconsin, I’m going to Mackinac Island. I’m going to be in Provincetown. I’m going to be in Concord, New Hampshire. I’m going everywhere. I’m going to lots of places. So if you want to see me, you can go to AdamBerryevents.com. I will be there. I will sign books. We can talk about the book. And same for the audiobook. Audiobook, wherever you get your audiobook, Spotify or Audible, it’s available today. The book is available today, so please, please pick it up if you can.
Jim:
Well, I recommend everybody check it out. We’ve had a great conversation today with Adam Berry talking about Goodbye, Hello: Processing Grief and Understanding Death Through the Paranormal. Adam, thank you for joining us today.
Adam Berry:
Thank you for having me.
Jim:
Well, it was great to talk to Adam again, and a lot of insight there from a lot of experience. And if you want to check out his book, an easy place to find it is in our show [email protected] in your podcast app. Or you can always go to my merch store, jimharold.com/merch. And there we have links to recent guests books for both the Paranormal Podcast and the Plus Club. And we thank you for tuning in. We would ask this one favor. Please tell a friend about the show today. Text them a link. Text them from your podcast app right now, and tell ’em about the show because this time of year we do pick up new listeners because people are interested in everything spooky. So I would appreciate it very much. Thanks for tuning in. Share this show. Stay safe and stay spooky. Bye-bye everybody.
—
For more information on our podcast data policy CLICK HERE